harianiseng: babbling

In babbling, Potongan Yogyakarta

Sometimes it feels like we are not meant to be together. Sometimes it feels like your right place is on the umpteenth-mountain-you-already-climb, sipped a cup of tea or some coffee, and sharing cold smile with someone else, instead of arguing with me about the best burger in town.

Sometimes it scares me if ‘the day’ arrives and our time is up and you are no longer with me. Sometimes it scares me if ‘the day’ comes and there are no more us and I just crushed my heart into pieces when I woke up, again. Sometimes it scares me if ‘the day’ scolds at me, gently, reminds me that you are not mine anymore.

Sometimes it feels like that should not be you, the person I can talk with for hours about how my day turns to blue lately, or about every single part of my favorite movie, or about different things. Sometimes it feels like you are not the right person whom I can laugh with when we saw Andovi’s video randomly like we used to.

Sometimes it feels like you are not trying as well as I did. Sometimes it feels like you let me to fight for us, alone. Sometimes it feels like you are not the person I used to know, and I constantly scold at you to keep on being the old you, instead of trying my best to understand and accept the new you. Sometimes it feels like you are the most selfish man in the whole universe and me, only the tiniest part of your unimportant stuff.

Sometimes it feels like I am not sure that you are the best man I am going to marry with, the right man I am going to spend my life with, the only one I am going to grow old with. Sometimes life full of uncertainty, and so did my heart.

Sometimes it feels like you never convince me about your feelings, about yourself as mine, about us.

Sometimes it feels like I am not the one for you.

Sometimes it feels like you are going to lose me, soon.

And I am going to hurt myself, again.

Yogyakarta, 31 Oktober 2014

‘kalau dia di Jogja, aku yakin kamu akan terlalu sibuk mencerewetiku, kapanpun.’

maka, aku akan meminta terbaik untuk kita—aku dan kamu, pun dia.

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, by Unknown

In #30harimenulis, babbling

#Day 19: The Sexiest Girl

I was so thin I could slice bread with my shoulder blades, only I seldom had bread.

—Charles Bukowski, The Last Night of the Earth Poems

Dandelion Girl. | Photo Credit: favim.com

Allow me to have pretty damn laugh as I started to write this. As a couple seconds ago, I just re-read the quotes which I took today in this post above then I accidentally realized that those words are so… you know not mean to backbite or make them as joke but funny. I mean, yeah, funny in the real term like you should laugh when Sule throws joke in the TV show.

Are there nobody laugh after read the quotes but me? Ouch, okay maybe I should go to psychiatric after I finish this. Huehehe. Of course only kidding don’t punch me.

Today—after I snuggled in this hell cold morning—I got enlightenment of what can I write for the 18^th writing-challenge about my favorite physical feature. At first, I really don’t have any idea about this stuff because, oh yeah, I never think in which part of my body that make me look fabulous, but the more I thought about this, the more I had to be honest with myself.

Then I’ve been chosen..my slim-and-thin-but-not-so-skinny-body-which-sometimes-make-me-feel-blessed. (I got this idea after took a notice of my body from head to toe in front of the mirror. Ugh, I felt worse now.)

You have to know that my body always, yes always, stays in its original size even I ate so excessive portion of meal. Other additional information, I have an awkward combination in diet which is I could consume a lot of food in one time—an exaggerate portion one—then a few hours later I am going to starve again. So strange, right? I’ve told you before.

Don’t accuse me that I do nothing for gaining my weight. I did really. But it was not that succeed as I hope. I’ve already done every step that people asked me to do like ate at the late night even midnight, ate much chocolate before went to bed, drunk piles of high-fat milk, but nothing happen. Then I stopped trying.

I don’t know exactly what happen with me but sometimes I just feel blessed because of this.

When other girls are having their strict-diet by regulate the meal which they eat, have a trouble of anorexia, tweeting how ugly they were having a chicken leg in their arm, being irritate with scale or complain about their weight that hasn’t fallen yet. When other girls think that by the gain of weight they will look crap then doing anything to lose their weight, I always wish in every bite of mine that I could keeping my weight off.

Another blessed, I don’t need a large place to stay. By this cute body I could hold myself in the crowded bus like no other. I could jump or spin or roll my body easily without worry that the whole building could tear down by me.

This is my thin body that God gave to me and no doubt I have to take care of it with all of my soul. Oh yeah, guysss.. I never slice bread with my shoulder blades—tulang belikat in bahasa :))

And still, I always eat everything happily like zombies. Alhamdulillah.

So… how about you, guys?

xoxo,

Ma. ♡

19Comments

, by Unknown

In #30harimenulis, babbling

#Day 15: No Sense Superhero

Batman doesn’t have any superpowers. He’s not superhuman. He’s not super. So therefore he can’t be a superhero.

—Craig Silvey, Jasper Jones

Got a cape. Wear. Fly. | Photo Credit: tumblr.

The great story of superhero didn’t enliven my childhood yet, like any other little kid did. When that little kid could believe in a 50-foot gorilla trashing the city then a guy who put a tights on over so-firm-sexy-pelukable body (Ha ha ha!), wears a cape in public which flapping in the breeze, and another no sense scene like they could fly without wings! Go and fight crime like they always win, I can’t believe in them, even slightly impressed.

I know it just waste my time thinking of why Superman really could fly, did he really come from what-so-called planet and make him lose his gravity force? Also random question that why he used to wear underpants in the outside of his tights. Hehehe. How can Spiderman expel any spider web through his palm, did he produce any glue over his body which made him stick on the wall? And the answer is so obvious: they are not real.

But for me, the most acceptable superhero in this real word so far is Batman. He couldn’t fly without his gadgets, like is it called as a rope? He chase criminal by car and yeah, you know, he is so damn-freaking-rich person. Ah, though I have to ask him: how could you run your business in the day and fight for crime in the night?

Okay, this time, I’ve make a long confession for myself such as what superhero I want to be.

I don’t like flying with my cape, so I don’t want to be Superman or any other flying-superhero. I hate spider, so Spiderman isn’t the answer. I am being irritate by the cat’s fur so big no for the catwoman, also batwoman because they wear so mini-sexy-cute costume. Perhaps being one of The Incredible family? I don’t think so.

I just stare at my awful-bed which hasn’t tidy up yet. My bookshelf in mess by piles of book here and there. Un-ironed clothes around the cupboard. And on and on. Then realize that my room often in this so-messy-like-smashed-ship situation. Oh, I wish I were a diligent person who can easily tidy up those stuffs in the place, but no. Hehehe. So, let me imagine if I were became a tidy-up superhero.

First: If I were a tidy-up Superhero, my bedroom will always in normal condition.

Normal here means that there will be no plates-after-had-dinner in the bed, plastic of food wrapper scattered around the room, and another criteria for messy room.

Second: If I were a tidy-up Superhero, I could tidy up my bed just in a blink of my eye.

It means that I wouldn’t take a long time to do that like usual. You have to know that my laziness of tidy up my room comes out by the time taken is longer than the time I make them mess. I always think that what the goal I’m doing this, though after I finish tidy it up, I’m going to make it mess again?

Third: If I were a tidy-up Superhero, I wouldn’t be afraid make a mess of my room again. Because as I told you before, I could tidy it up just in a blink of my eye.

Fourth: If I were a tidy-up Superhero, I will always wish that my superpower would never disappear without any reason. This superpower will accompany me forever until the rest of my life. Hahaha.

By the way, I just wonder why superhero always conceal his identity? Anyone?

xoxo,

Ma.

6Comments

, by Unknown

In babbling, dongeng buku

About Bookworm, Winna and Stuffs

Let's doing them (again), Ma! | Photo Credit: here

Just called me a bookworm as I used to have much time to read piles of books. I used to do that because…ouch, I was kidnapped by three hell aliens which threw me away from the earth and threaten me not to read some kind of books again. So what can I do to rescue myself like no one can but obey they command?

Grroaarr..Tons of sorry causing by that lame excuse, I know. Did I perfectly-success make myself look so stupid? Hahaha.

Okay. The thing is that I accidentally forget when did the last time I put a book on before I go to bed. No, no, I’m not that kind of people who are going to exaggerate about this stuff but read a book should be my daily life since I was young (doesn’t mean I’m too old now, of course not. hehehe).

Since I’m not that kind of busy—except busy thinking of you, it needs to be questioned why I become extremely-lazy to read lately. This whole months (added with December last year), I turn into someone that is very highly irritated with books. Idk exactly what the nice term for this case, so what if I mentioned it with someone-whose-busy-doing- her-life-and-getting-bored-for-a-while-with-piles-of-books? Oh, another annoying long wooooord. I think I get into frustrating woman area as I write this. Huftt.

I don’t know why but I feel that I was out of tract and gonna lose my own self. This is sort of disaster when I bet the effect of my laziness will come over in any minute. I could mention: lack of science, shortage of information, oh, the worst is it will be occur soon that my life would full of stupidity without any prevention. Oh for the God’s sake I’m gonna wrecked!

So, this is me in this 2014 resolution: Stop doing lame thing in my spare time, such as online for hours, doing silly thing in timeline. Okey, Asma! Let’s challenging yourself with this: Read much books as you can in this entire year!

Then I did my annual activity in goodreads which is update my reading challenge for 2014.

kowe pancen cupu, Mak! | Photo credit: mine.

What a cupu person when I only dare take 35 books for this year, apparently any people out of here take more than 50s. Uhuk. That’s okay, baby. Goodreads said that it was a good starting point (okay, I can accept your condolence, goodreads!). And I think it was a rapid progress since last year I only took 20 books. Hahaha. I just calming myself (again).

Another resolution so far: Learn how to make a good review about something. Books you have read. Movie you have watched. Stuff you have used.

And the nearest event that related with my resolution is: Winna Efendi’s Book Reading Challenge 2014 by Kak Luckty Giyan Sukarno. How cool your name, Kak! Hehehe.

here it is.. | Photo Credit: Kak Luckty

My duty now is to collect Winna Efendi’s entire book, re-read them with bunch of attention and make a review of what I’ve read. Oh, maybe I’ll post them in harian iseng. Wohooo.. my first review then. Don’t be that worry because I’ll post it in bahasa :))

Luckily, I am one of the Winnadict (designation of Kak Winna’s fans) and am the big one. Hehehe. You have to know, the first book that I read is Refrain, and instantly-perfectly-madly made me fall in love with Winna Efendi. I like how she arranging word into a good paragraph to read, and how smart she does. Oh, you have to read one of them then fall in love with her. Hahaha.

So I already have hmm.. more than half of her books. Here is the list:

Ai— mine

Refrain— mine

Remember When— mine

Unforgettable— mine

Truth or Dare— mine

Melbourne: Rewind— mine

The Journey— have read it via online hehehe

Glam Girls: Unbelievable— have read it via online too

Draft 1: Taktik Menulis Fiksi Pertamamu— not yet

Hemm.. which book I should re-read first? What do you think, guys?

xoxo,

Ma. ♡♡

p.s

This is the first week of my holiday in this semester. Still nothing has to do but write some unfinished stuff. Hehehe. You know, I’ll surprise you by how diligent I am post something here. Have a nice day, you!

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, by Unknown

In #30harimenulis, babbling

#Day 13: This Way Far

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, by Unknown

In babbling, corat coret

Miss Social Media

Hello there! Suddenly, I got confused by how to make a nice opening of this post since I just posted something about three hours ago. Don’t be that bored seeing me around your dashboard, pretty please. After this, I promise that I won’t appear in your dashboard again kinda two years. Hahaha. No, just a joke :p

Btw, in this post I just want to share about a cute stuff by Dewi Yugi that she gave to me around a couple months ago. So sorry for the late post causing by too much silly thing recently which I used to beat them. Huehehe. Ah, just for information, I got this because how lucky I was became the first winner of her giveaway here. The stuff is about a ~~melodrama~~ short story of mine become so yeah I don’t feel like a good idea telling you the story but read them by yourself. Deal?

Maybe I will make a follow-up post tomorrow about the story but yeah idk whether I can or not. So once again, this was not me who wrote the story. Just anticipate anyone who expects it. Hehehe. Thank you. Happy listening! J

Photo Credit: here

Asma terdiam di kamarnya. Dia sedang asyik dengan dunianya sendiri, chat dengan teman-temannya di facebook. Ia bahkan tidak peduli dengan jam dinding yang sebentar lagi berhenti pada angka tujuh, tepat pada saat bel sekolah Asma berbunyi. Selain membuka facebook, Asma juga membuka twitter. Ah, jam tujuh masih lama ya, batin Asma sambil menatap jam dinding.

"APA?! SEKARANG JAM ENAM LEWAT LIMA PULUH MENIT?!" pekik Asma kaget sambil menutup laptop-nya. Ia tak peduli lagi dengan jejaring sosialnya yang belum ia log out.

"ASMA! Kamu ini malah main laptop aja! Makanya berangkat sekolah dari tadi!" omel Ibu.

"Iya... Iya.... Ibu sabar dong! Asma lagi buru-buru nih!" sahut Asma tak kalah heboh.

Setelah mengenakan sepatu, Asma berlari ke sekolahnya yang hanya berjarak beberapa ratus meter. Saat ia sampai.... Oh, tidak! Pintu gerbang sekolah ditutup. Asma mengelus dada. Asma telat!

"Pak Satpam bukain pintunya dong! Aku telat nih!" kata Asma sambil menggedor-gedor gerbang.

"Lho, Asma kok telat lagi? Kan kemarin udah dibilangin kalau berangkat itu lebih pagi" ucap Pak Satpam sambil membuka gerbang.

"Iya deh Pak. Makasih ya!" seru Asma, lalu ia berlari ke dalam sekolah dan menuju kelasnya. Prek! Pintu kelas ditutup.

Asma menggigit jari. Jujur saja, Asma adalah murid yang cukup cerdas di kelasnya. Ia juga pendiam dan rajin. Namun akhir-akhir ini, Asma sering telat masuk sekolah karena sibuk dengan jejaring sosialnya. Sreeet..... Asma membuka pintu perlahan. Tampaklah Bu Helda yang sedang mengajar dan murid-murid di kelas Asma yang sedang menatap Asma dengan heran dan bingung.

“Asma, kenapa kamu telat?" tanya Bu Helda.

Asma terdiam dan menunduk. Ia takut sekali dengan Bu Helda.

"Ya sudah, kamu boleh duduk!" perintah Bu Helda.

Asma pun ngeloyor pergi tanpa bilang terimakasih. Sebetulnya Asma sudah berterimakasih, tapi suaranya kecil sekali. Ia memang pemalu.

______________________

"Asma, makan malam dulu!" panggil Ibu.

"Nanti...." jawab Asma.

"Asmaaa"

"Nantiii"

"Asma ayo makan malaaaam....."

"Aduh, Ibu!" Asma menutup laptop-nya dengan kencang. "Sabar dong! Asma lagi sibuk nih!" seru Asma sebal. Ia kembali lagi pada laptop-nya.

"Eh, Asma kok gitu sih? Emang kamu lagi ngapain? Main internet? Sibuk darimananya? Ayo makan dulu! Nanti kamu sakit lho!" ujar Ibu yang tiba-tiba berada di samping Asma.

"Iya, Asma emang lagi main internet, terus kenapa?" kata Asma cuek.

"Ih, Asma kok gitu sih sama Ibu...."

"Iya, iya deh. Maafin Asma, habis gara-gara Ibu, Asma jadi kalah main game nih" ucap Asma.

"Lho kok gara-gara Ibu? Sudah, sana makan dulu!" suruh Ibu.

Asma berlari ke ruang makan dan mengambil jatah makan malamnya. Setelah itu Asma kembali pada laptop kesayangannya. Ia sedang sibuk berguru di depan facebook dan twitter. Tiba-tiba ada sebuah pesan masuk difacebook-nya.

Asma, kamu lagi ngapain? Kamu udah punya blog belum?

"Oh, ada pesan dari Nadila! Hmm ... blog itu apa ya? Semacam website begitu? Aku tanyain Nadila aja deh" gumam Asma. Ia pun membalas pesan Nadila.

Ohhh, belum tuh. Eh udah, eh belum, ehh... :P. Blog itu apa sih? Aku kan kudet haahaa *LOL*. Kayak website gitu bukan? Bener nggak? Harus bener ya! Hehe... :D

Tak lama kemudian ada balasan dari Nadila.

Iya, tapi lebih gampang bikinnya, dan banyak pilihannya.Template-nya juga lucu-lucu kok. Coba deh kamu kunjungi blogaku di http://princessnadila.tumblr.com.

Asma pun membuka blog-nya Nadila. Bagusss banget! Asma pun jadi ingin membuat blog.......

___________________

Teng! Teng! Teng!

"Asma, katanya kamu pengin buat blog ya? Aku bantu, deh! Gimana kalau nanti kamu ke rumahku aja?" tawar Nadila. Asma mengangguk.

"Oh ya, ulangan Agama tadi, kamu dapat nilai berapa?" tanya Nadila. Asma hanya mengangguk.

“Asma! Aku, kan, nanya, ulangan Agama tadi, kamu dapat berapa? Kok malah ngangguk?!" seru Nadila. Anehnya, Asma malah mengangguk lagi.

"Asma kamu kenapa, sih?!" Nadila pergi meninggalkan Asma dengan wajah kesal.

Nadila, tunggu! seru Asma dalam hati. Ke ... Kenapa ... Aku sangat pemalu kalau berbicara langsung dengan seseorang?! Padahal ... Kalau di dunia maya ... Aku sangat aktif, batin Asma.

___________________

Asma pun pulang ke rumah. Sesampainya di rumah, Asma mengirim pesan kepada Nadila lewat Facebook. Begini isinya:

Nadila, maafin aku, ya. Aku tahu aku itu pemalu kalau bicara langsung sama orang, aku minta maaf. Padahal, aku selalu aktif di dunia maya, tapi malu kalau di langusng bicara di depan orangnya. Sekali lagi, maafin aku.

Tak lama kemudian, ada balasan dari Nadila, begini isinya:

Iya, aku udah maafin kamu, tapi jangan diulang lagi, ya. Kamu kan tahu kalau pemalu itu nggak baik, ada peribahasa kayak gini: "Malu bertanya sesat dijalan", atau "Tak kenal maka tak sayang". Kamu selalu malu bertanya kepada orang lain, dan nggak mau berbaur dengan yang lain. Jangan gitu lagi, ya ....

Asma tersenyum.

9Comments

, by Unknown

In #30harimenulis, babbling

#Day 11: Stop Read This

Hello, there!

Huaaah, finally the 11^th day is coming and… huft, is it okay if I don’t feel so ashamed because there are so many rotten day have been left without any posting? Hahaha I do really sorry then.

Okey. Before I start to babbling and its getting bored, I would like to warn you that there will be many hot picture ~~of mine~~ of food which I used to find them so hard in… google hehehe. I know they are so gorgeous even only a tiny part in your refrigerator or maybe your stomach. And stop read this if you are on your diet program because it’s so dangerous. Hahaha. I’ve told you, guys!

Let’s start the first tortuuuuure!

Breakfast

Actually I always breakfast with my Mom’s since I was a baby, maybe. Sometimes if she has so many tasks to do, she will buy some meal for us —me, my lil sister, my lil brother and Dad, in the food store near our home. But causing by these three months I’ve to move to Yogyakarta, I can’t eat them as often as I want. So yeah, I have to find food for myself. And you know I’m too lazy to crawl from my nest out that’s why I can count by my finger how many days in a week I have my breakfast. Hahaha.

Luckily, there are many colleges that selling food in campus, so I could buy some to survive even the price so heck hahaha. And my favorite meal for my breakfast now is…. macaroni schotel!!

Macaroni Schotel | Photo Credit: google

Why is it so delicious and I can’t stand for it? Huaah, maybe that’s because who cook it. The ~~cooker~~ chef is Ipeh’s Mom (one of my friend which so cute) and I think she cooked it with love. The macaroni so sooooft, the eggs are well-mixed, they roasted them in perfect time and perfect temperature and so yeah, finally I can eat this macaroni schotel with maknyuuuuus and you only pay for it Rp 2500,-

Lunch

My favorite food for lunch are sayur buncis and sop ayam especially made by Mbak Mar. I loved when she cooks my special sayur buncis with a tiny slices. No reason for but I like. Ah, the slices are like the picture below. And you are not allowed to mix my sayur buncis with any groceries, but tempe or carrot are okay, remember no groceries at all.

Buncissss.. | Photo Credit: ibudananak

Then my sop ayam must having bunch of chicken wing then the vegetables anyway hahaha no only joking :p

Chicken Soup. | Photo Credit: freshfoods

To be honest, every time I enjoy them I feel like the greediest person in the whole universe. Hahaha. How ——— I am.

Dinner

No special menu for dinner, but can I go dinner with you? Okey, you can choose menu as you wish and and and and I will only staring at you along the dinner. And I’m going to be full. So yeah, I’m having a sleep tight tonight. How baby? How? Hahaha.

Romantic dinner. | Photo Credit: Weheartit

Snack

Maybe it was a blessing for other girls if you can’t get fat in your tummy even you always take a lot of snacks in a day with no exercise. But for me, I feel like somebody has been cursed on me in this awkward situation. It’s sooooo hard to gain my weight and you know what, Mom Erna (one of my best English teacher) ever told me that I look like a skeleton in muscle. Huft. Do I look so skinny? -______- Haha for defense, I’m slim :))))

And my favorite snack is… still oreo. It is a kind of biscuit that before you eat, the things you do are spin it, lick it, and dyed. Hahaha. This is some picture I got having some oreo combine with delicious food.

OKEY STOPPING YOUR SALIVA WITH THESE HELL-PICT, GUUUUUYSS!!